Hi there friends!
Today, I am about to come a bit unraveled. It’s not my typical cute little craft day, or sprucing up the yard, or kitchen or any home decor for that matter. I am here to say straight up, menopause SUCKS!
I’m tired of holding back, I just have to let it all out and be real, raw and perhaps even a little potty mouth. I never had a bad potty mouth, but truth be told. I do now. I let the shits, damns, asses, frigs fly!
My boys are old enough to hear it, and take it for that matter. I think at first they were a little taken back. Now, it doesn’t even phase them when I go off on a tangent. Not sure if that is a good thing, or a bad thing. It is what it is. I guess I am preparing them for marriage in a sense.
I have entered this phase of my life that I never thought would happen to me. I hit puberty at a young age. In fact, I remember being excited to have a period. What the hell??? Yes, I was also happy to get a little sprout of a boob, and a hair under my arm. Don’t lie, you all were too. It meant we were becoming a real woman in our minds.
Although a very distant memory, it was a happy time for me. I have been barreling though this menopause gig for about a year and half now. I have entered the snap dragon of my life. Part of me has snapped, and the other part is draggin!
I can laugh, sneeze, cough and pee all at the same time. Oh how friggen talented I am now! I can do a jumping jack and pee on demand. I see depends are surely in my future.
I recently bought a fit bit to start taking control of my weight gain. I was non sensibly eating at my desk throughout the day. Was I sticking carrots and celery in my mouth? Hell no, I was eating a bag of cheese-its, snack mix, chips, whatever I could grab out the pantry in a hurry. Well guess what? Didn’t seem like I was hardly eating at all which was most of the problem. I was munching on high fat and high caloric snacks all day long. Take another guess, it found my new plump, round wide ASS!
In fact, food and snacks were replacing my sex life. I couldn’t even get into my own pants let alone my husband! Poor guy. Thank goodness we have had for years a special random dedicated date night. Even if most of the time I am just not in the mood, he’s pretty good at getting me there 🙂 WINKS!~~
Yesterday, my hormones called, and they wanted to rip everyone’s head off. I literally went on a rampage in my husbands closet and cleaned out clothes I hated him wearing. He hasn’t noticed yet, but they are off to Goodwill. He had this one red shirt that I absolutely despised. I don’t know what it was or what it is, but I don’t like men in red.
Now I feel remorse because when he does notice, he may be a bit perturbed with me. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Crap, there may have to be an extra date night in there!
My new fit bit has been a blessing though I will say. The only thing I have been disappointed in is that tossing and turning at night is not considered exercise! It registers as restlessness. I am restless for about 20-30 minutes every night. One leg in, one leg out, one arm up, one arm down. Tell me why that doesn’t count?
Now that the summer season is fast approaching, I am dreading, I say absolutely dreading trying on a bathing suit. I have to take control of this and I will. I am determined to lose 10 lbs by July. I can do this. I hold myself accountable for getting 10K steps or more in every day. I am betting I was only averaging about 3K on most days.
It’s so friggen hard though. I think yesterday after brushing my teeth I gained another pound. It just comes on out of nowhere.
Friends, it’s just not fair. You all tell me it gets better. Well when?? Any pearls of wisdom you have to offer I will gladly listen. I think I have suffered long enough. How the hell long does this last? I get it, I really do. Life has been a precious gift to me. I am blessed beyond measure when I look at my family, I have a twinkle of pride in my eye. But there are times, I am certain they want to stick a pitch fork in mine. I have gone 5 months period free and then bam the biotch returns. I know they say 12 consecutive months. And then it’s done. I am no longer having fun on this roller coaster. Get me off NOW.
NOTE: I have started a MENOPAUSE website HERE. Please come join me there.
Ahhhhh..thank you dear blog of mine for letting me vent. If you are new here, gosh I am so sorry, you came on a bad day. I promise, I am not always like this. I love to decorate, craft and create all things fun and thrifty, and I promise to do that again real soon.
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Holy shiznick! I have a major update. The day I was on the rampage about my husbands closet, I also tore all his work clothes off the hanger and told him they all needed to be dry cleaned. (He is a bit lax on that) Well, he put them in a bag and placed them near the door. This morning was garbage day. Guess who tossed the bag in the garbage? NOT me, thank GOD. He did, and he is not a happy camper right now. The irony to the story is, I guess I can blame him on the red shirt too now if I really wanted HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!~
Debbie
XO
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