Hi there friends!
Today, I am about to come a bit unraveled. It’s not my typical cute little craft day, or sprucing up the yard, or kitchen or any home decor for that matter. I am here to say straight up, menopause SUCKS!
I’m tired of holding back, I just have to let it all out and be real, raw and perhaps even a little potty mouth. I never had a bad potty mouth, but truth be told. I do now. I let the shits, damns, asses, frigs fly!
My boys are old enough to hear it, and take it for that matter. I think at first they were a little taken back. Now, it doesn’t even phase them when I go off on a tangent. Not sure if that is a good thing, or a bad thing. It is what it is. I guess I am preparing them for marriage in a sense.
I have entered this phase of my life that I never thought would happen to me. I hit puberty at a young age. In fact, I remember being excited to have a period. What the hell??? Yes, I was also happy to get a little sprout of a boob, and a hair under my arm. Don’t lie, you all were too. It meant we were becoming a real woman in our minds.
Although a very distant memory, it was a happy time for me. I have been barreling though this menopause gig for about a year and half now. I have entered the snap dragon of my life. Part of me has snapped, and the other part is draggin!
I can laugh, sneeze, cough and pee all at the same time. Oh how friggen talented I am now! I can do a jumping jack and pee on demand. I see depends are surely in my future.
I recently bought a fit bit to start taking control of my weight gain. I was non sensibly eating at my desk throughout the day. Was I sticking carrots and celery in my mouth? Hell no, I was eating a bag of cheese-its, snack mix, chips, whatever I could grab out the pantry in a hurry. Well guess what? Didn’t seem like I was hardly eating at all which was most of the problem. I was munching on high fat and high caloric snacks all day long. Take another guess, it found my new plump, round wide ASS!
In fact, food and snacks were replacing my sex life. I couldn’t even get into my own pants let alone my husband! Poor guy. Thank goodness we have had for years a special random dedicated date night. Even if most of the time I am just not in the mood, he’s pretty good at getting me there 🙂 WINKS!~~
Yesterday, my hormones called, and they wanted to rip everyone’s head off. I literally went on a rampage in my husbands closet and cleaned out clothes I hated him wearing. He hasn’t noticed yet, but they are off to Goodwill. He had this one red shirt that I absolutely despised. I don’t know what it was or what it is, but I don’t like men in red.
Now I feel remorse because when he does notice, he may be a bit perturbed with me. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Crap, there may have to be an extra date night in there!
My new fit bit has been a blessing though I will say. The only thing I have been disappointed in is that tossing and turning at night is not considered exercise! It registers as restlessness. I am restless for about 20-30 minutes every night. One leg in, one leg out, one arm up, one arm down. Tell me why that doesn’t count?
Now that the summer season is fast approaching, I am dreading, I say absolutely dreading trying on a bathing suit. I have to take control of this and I will. I am determined to lose 10 lbs by July. I can do this. I hold myself accountable for getting 10K steps or more in every day. I am betting I was only averaging about 3K on most days.
It’s so friggen hard though. I think yesterday after brushing my teeth I gained another pound. It just comes on out of nowhere.
Friends, it’s just not fair. You all tell me it gets better. Well when?? Any pearls of wisdom you have to offer I will gladly listen. I think I have suffered long enough. How the hell long does this last? I get it, I really do. Life has been a precious gift to me. I am blessed beyond measure when I look at my family, I have a twinkle of pride in my eye. But there are times, I am certain they want to stick a pitch fork in mine. I have gone 5 months period free and then bam the biotch returns. I know they say 12 consecutive months. And then it’s done. I am no longer having fun on this roller coaster. Get me off NOW.
NOTE: I have started a MENOPAUSE website HERE. Please come join me there.
Ahhhhh..thank you dear blog of mine for letting me vent. If you are new here, gosh I am so sorry, you came on a bad day. I promise, I am not always like this. I love to decorate, craft and create all things fun and thrifty, and I promise to do that again real soon.
Holy shiznick! I have a major update. The day I was on the rampage about my husbands closet, I also tore all his work clothes off the hanger and told him they all needed to be dry cleaned. (He is a bit lax on that) Well, he put them in a bag and placed them near the door. This morning was garbage day. Guess who tossed the bag in the garbage? NOT me, thank GOD. He did, and he is not a happy camper right now. The irony to the story is, I guess I can blame him on the red shirt too now if I really wanted HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!~
You are awesome. 🙂
I will say this. I gained 30 lbs during menopause. I don’t actually know how but one day I woke up and it was all there. If you’ve only gained 10 lbs that’s not overwhelming to lose. I was miserable too…for years until I did something about it. Still not sure what made me do it. I guess I was tired of feeling like shit. Hang in there girl…I promise it doesn’t last forever.
Thank you my dear friend!!! There is hope. OMG if I gained 30lbs I would hang myself. I already feel like crap.
I hear ya and feel ya! I had instant menopause, there was no working into it. Or getting to know it. It didn’t even buy me a drink first! And she is a real bitch. She wants you to get fat, grumpy, hot… and to never sleep well again. Without my hormone replacement, it’s like the worst PMS ever.
I’m down to the lowest dose, but I dread the day I’ve got to stop taking it… Love ya! xo
Debbie, it will get better! I promise that, but I don’t know when. Every woman is different. Yes, the weight gain is the worst part, or almost the worst part. . . You’re doing all you can to stay on top of it. Time for a lifestyle change to healthy eating, more exercise, and reading food labels. What worked best for me was a conscious attempt to cut back on sugar. I could NEVER eliminate it, but read labels and try to consume less of it. That may work for you! Take care, vent, rant, rage, and do whatever you need to do to get through the misery. Wear lots of layers, too. You never know when you may have to take your shirt off! 🙂
Yep, I have learned the layer trick. I am also making a conscious effort to only shop the outside of the grocery store. Everything in the middle is crap…crap I love.
Well, I have to say that reading about the social, and wait game does make me feel better. I haven’t weighed myself since I lost 40 pounds on Weight Watchers. But I know my clothes don’t fit and I’m all roly-poly in the middle and I hate it. I was busy blaming myself for eating too much but the truth is that I’ll bet a fair bit of it is to do with menopause. I also love the graphic at the beginning that shows the boob and large meant. I had big boobs to begin with but now I feel like that unit boob old lady that we always picture our grandmothers as! It’s been about five years for me and the way game really only happened in the last two. But the good news is the hot flashes seem to of decreased!
Well that will help some for sure! We are all in this together ladies.
wow I totally dictated that response and didn’t proof read! I hope you were able to decipher the typos!!
I was LOL. I had a feeling that is what you did.
This was so refreshing to read! I’m not quite there yet but very close. I just got a fitbit too and I’m really liking how it holds me accountable to get stepping every day!! You cracked me up this whole post. I sure hope it gets better. It’s just not fair!
Good, I am glad someone can laugh about it LOL! Thanks Heather.
You crack me up! Seriously, though, don’t be brave. Get those hormones! I did not and regretted it big time. When we first got married, my MIL used to talk to me about Premarin. I had no clue what she was talking about, other than she complained of dryness. I thought she was using a hand cream! (Please note this was before it was advertised on tv and before your 5 year okd could tell you what Vigara and Premarin are and what their purpose is.)
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! yes commercials today are like sex education for us back in the day. I won’t take that stuff. I had some breast issues (Nothing serious thankfully) however, I did have to go see a breast oncologist and she said absolutely NOT for me to take. So I have no choice but to plug through this.
I turned into a raging BEE-ATCH and also tend to let loose a string of curse words, including the F-bomb, every time the husband upsets me! And even the silly little things annoy me. Poor guy….. I’ve endured massive weight gain because I developed a voracious appetite! I now have ginormous boobs that have little, if any, muscle support and now droop into the nether regions of my spare tire. And I even grew a 1/2 size in my shoe size! At least my skin looks good because I discovered a skincare line that works wonders. Until this next diet kicks in, I’ll just continue to cover up with my go-to chubbo outfits. Yes, the whole menopause thing does suck! Oh, and did I mention that it all began in 2004?!
Thanks SUE…are you friggen kidding me???? 12 years? I can’t handle that, seriously. God help me if that is me. Oh yes, the F-bomb, is part of my vocab now too. I didn’t cross the line in the post though lol. I adore and respect my readers and didn’t want to totally offend them:)
I had intermittent symptoms except for the weight gain. It continues as an ongoing disturbance in my lifestyle! ha ha I had the night sweats occasionally and had the flashes for what seemed like forever. I only got red and drippy in my face, however. I kept tissues with me at all times! Annoying- but I’d make light of it when with other women and they’d sympathize, saying they understood. When one of them told me she’d been enduring severe symptoms for 20 years, I was flabbergasted. Hah- Little did I know that I’d experience on and off symptoms for this long!! After talking to others, I’ve come to realize that I didn’t have it THAT bad with the symptoms. I’ve made up for it with the longer time frame, though. blech…..
I too am going thru menopause. No period for a year and 7 mths then bam….which started a whole series of issues ending with a D&C. I have gained the weight and everything else. I have fibrocystic breasts so no hormones for me. But my doctor has me taking this and I am not quite to my 2 mth range of using it, but I do believe it is helping. My sister said she was on it for 7 yrs and it worked for her. Please ask your doctor about it, it is over the counter and no prescription required http://www.estroven.com/! Enjoyed your post! Your not the only one out there!
It’s nice I am not alone for sure. I have breast issues too so I need to be very careful as to what I take.
I tried Estroven, the black cohash in it kept my stomach upset! Read that that is a side effect.
I do not trust black Cohash. Honestly, my breast oncologist I had to see for some cyst issues recommended it. I know this is scary to say and share but she just recently died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 53. I also know another woman who took it for years and also passed from pancreatic cancer. I don’t know if there is any correlation between the two, but it’s something I am not willing to risk.
Well you know I’ve been dealing with this crap for several years. Yeah, I have a potty mouth too. I never did, until I hit menopause. I’m not proud of the moments my brain has a breakdown and the F bombs come flying out. It seems to happen mostly when I’m driving and my teen daughter is in the car. Well shes used to me flying off the handle…sadly it’s true. Interesting, my husband never had a potty mouth until I went through menopause. He’s not as bad as me, but he has his moments. Should I blame my menopause or do men go through this as well, which could be a bad thing down the road. Thank God for wine, because that’s helped me on a few occasions. I was gaining a ton of weight too. But, once I got on Whole30 I finally got my metabolism back and it’s super speedy now. I’ve kept my weight off and I’m not starving. You can do it girl!!!
Men have PMS too. Piss and Moan syndrome!
It’s a diet I believe a paleo diet.
Linda @ Itsy Bits And Pieces
I remember reading all these articles about how great life was when you are older with menopause nowadays…NO. Honestly, there was nothing good about it. And no it doesn’t last forever…BUT.IT.SURE.SEEMS.LIKE.IT.
I’m glad you have a sense of humor about it…it’s all we can do lol.
It’either that or cry all the time. I don’t like crying lol!
I write a Menopausal Monday post a few times a month. I’ve been menopausal for about six years and I have learned to both use it as an excuse and laugh at it. I hope you’ll join the conversation once in awhile!
I will! six years is way too long though. Can’t deal with it now.
Hey Debbie, first off, that is hilarious! Secondly, I think I did go through a crabby period, but I feel really good now, and people rarely get on my nerves. I am very calm. I say no a lot more. I don’t care what people think any more, at least not much. Definitely I am happier, but maybe that’s because I just avoid people that annoy me now. Hang in there! One of these days when I really don’t care what people think, I’ll write a memoir and tell it all.
Yes, lately, I have a good case of the I don’t give a shits lol! Add that to the symptoms.
I am sorry for what you are going through with menopause and all. I am 40 years old, and I am dreading the day when my time comes. Anyway, I heard that taking a DIM supplement also known as “Diindolylmethane” it’s suppose to be real good at controlling menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes, weight gain, insomnia, and so forth. You can order it on Amazon or find it in drug stores. Here is a link to Amazon where you can read reviews about what others are saying about it: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006KL4TYG?psc=1
The name of the product on Amazon is called “Smoky Mountain Naturals DIM. Anyway, I wish you well and hopefully mother nature will let up a little. Take Care.
I will look into it, thank you so much.
Okay I’m laughing so hard!!!!! Been there, but actually mine wasn’t too bad. Sorry you are having a hard time. Hope the venting helped a bit!
It did Kim, for today anyway:)
A few years ago I thought I was becoming a raging lunatic but it was just continuing menopause. Yes it’s a roller coaster ride thru hell, labor that lasts for years with no beautiful baby to show for our efforts. Family needs to buckle up for a bumpy ride! In the end, it will be ok and you will crossover into another chapter of life. Life is what we make of it and I think you do a great job of “carpe diem” from what I read on your blog. Hang in there! You are not alone. As for your DH clothes well clothes are replaceable but people aren’t. Have a better day!
Thanks Denise! My husband is over the loss of his work clothes. I am starting to question if I even accidentally threw out the bag. I am pretty certain he did and he is taking the blame, so I am leaving it at that. I told him, it’ Karma for letting it go for so long. That is has been our one big major beef for 22 years now. The man does not keep a clean closet grrrrrr. That’s all I have on him though lol.
Can I just say first that I’m in shock that all your husband’s work clothes went in the trash????? Oh, my goodness.
Now, to the real stuff. I hear you and feel your pain. My mom – bless her heart – always told me she had one big hot flash and poof! That was her menopause. I thought sure I would be just like her. Nope. I started just before I turned 50. They were slowing down. Then my OBGYN put me on medicine for osteopenia that causes hot flashes. For real. But they’re not that bad, truthfully.
Funny story for you. I didn’t have a lot of hot flashes but my face would turn red for no reason. I was teaching middle school at the time and some kid would always ask me, “Why is your face so red?” AAUUUGGHHH.
Good luck, Debbie. It’s not fun.
No it’s not. Yes, I know on my husbands work clothes. Not a good day LOL!
I just deleted every comment I attempted to make, nothing sounded right.
Just sound yourself Bliss!
I question myself all the time now for what comes out of my mouth. I think my comments sound ignorant or offensive. I think you should post what you feel Bliss. I kinda always did speak what’s on my mind too much. Now? Well, menopause! 9-10 years now.
Hey my period stopped for a year, then here she was! So disappointed and upset! Was ready to be rid of her after several years of heavy bleeding, messing up clothes, sheets, cramps that hurt sooo bad that felt like my bottom was falling out!,dropping clots that would slide down my leg (gross, TMI~ sorry!), Doctor told me that sometime another egg will drop down and you will get another period. Havent had another one but did spot a few times. I know what you mean about the restless nights, I get those and the night sweats too! I too fight weight gain and a crazy appetite for anything sweet!
I could so go for a reeses cup right now. Even though you mentioned clots it just didn’t even phase me:) I don’t have anything like that, praise to Lord for now.
Debbie, thanks for having an honest conversation about this subject, I think too many of us suffer in silence. I went through a difficult menopause that didn’t start until I was 54 and is just becoming more manageable at 59 – it is like a storm in the beginning that has slowly become better. I definitely would have done some things differently, like eating better and exercising more, but it’s just one more thing to beat yourself up about at the time you’re going through it! So many of us are going through other transitions as well – kids leaving home, taking care of aging parents, etc. It’s a lot to handle at once! Take care and don’t be too hard on yourself, everyone who’s been through it understands!
I know, that is why I shared it in my most candid way. Truth be told, we all go through it. Some handle it better, some worse. I think the diet and exercise is going to help me though a lot. I had no desire for it but now I do.
I’m not there yet but I’m approaching. The Doctor has me on shots for my fibroids that hopefully will speed it along. I can’t ask my Mom about this stuff since she had to have a hysterectomy. This is good I’m enjoying everyone else’s input. The night sweats and mood swings, being angry and then ready to cry are driving me nuts.
And no we are not mental. For a short while I thought maybe I’m losing it. But the more I read on it, I realized ahhhh this is normal. God helps us all.
Let the good times roll- haha!! I am on the downside of Menopause- thank God- and can remember when I first had symptoms. Mine started out with night sweats and yes, I was in denial! I just figured I was having nightmares, every.single.night! I remember my husband sitting down and saying he would be there waiting patiently and being understanding. Like it was something I was going to go into and right back out in no time. You should have seen the look on his face when I said it could take a few years before I was completely through it. haha!! I also remember him telling the boys at work, for a small fee he would bring them home so they could watch my head spin around. haha!! I must have been pretty bad! Hang in there- things will get better! It might take a little time but it does get better! Good Luck!:)
I am holding you to it LOL! OMG you made me laugh with the head spin.
If you have issues with restless legs at night, use magnesium oil. Magnesium is crucial to all systems of our bodies and the majority of us are deficient. Taking it transdermally is the best as you absorb more of it than a pill form. I had almost immediate results. No more restless limbs, leg cramps, and sleep like a log every night now.
I just bought some in a powder form! I am trying it. Thank you.
Ahhh, your post made me laugh this morning. This is so real for us and husbands just call it “mental-pause.” I cry at facebook memes or videos. Then I fly off the handle because there is a dish in the sink. You know that peri-menopausal rage is a real thing. It is instant rage. Once I read about it I informed the family so they could understand, gave myself a pass and stopped worrying about it. I told the family, it will pass but until then we just have to ride it out and so sad for you! I am hoping I am at the tale end of my change. Will it ever stop, yes, just not as soon as we are ready for it to. Hang in there. Tell yourself its not you, it is hormones so you have nothing to forgive yourself for. The house needs to be understanding and patient after all the years of taking care of them, they can do this for you.
My family has been an absolute blessing. The only one I feel sorry for is our dog. Sometimes she just looks at me and runs LOL. That’s when I feel bad. The rest of the family, they can deal and get over it. HA!
I feel ya, Debbie! I am experiencing the same! My mild mannered self has disappeared!! I have been dealing with this almost 3 years. Hoping it’s almost done! I’m so over the hot flashes, night sweats, interrupted sleep! That would make anyone crabby! So treat yourself to something nice, maybe a mani/pedi, a trip to the mall, whatever brightend your day! You deserve it!!
I had a hysterectomy at 40, threw blood clots for three weeks after, so I’ve never been able to take harmones of any kind. That being said, you need to have a much more in depth discussion with your doctor, or get a new one! This is 2016. There are harmones that can be compounded JUST FOR YOU. Talk to him/her about that. Families should not suffer when mom becomes a “mature” adult. Pull up your big girl panties and put a smile on your face.
yeah yeah yeah! I probably threw out the panties when cleaning out on my rampage LOL. I am not doing any sort of hormone replacement. Feel good now pay the price later. No way, I can’t because I have some breast issues that the DOC said absolutely not.
Oh, Debbie, you have given me and my daughter a priceless gift! She is recovering from brain tumor surgery and I read your menopause blog to her and she laughed and laughed. At just 35 years old, she is definitely not there yet but her Mom (me) totally understands! It’s PMS times a million! Hang in there!
Oh my gosh Cindy! I am so happy to give you and your daughter a laugh. I hope she has a smooth and quick recovery. Thank you so much for stopping by today. XO
Oh honey, I feel your pain. I can’t even remember how long my menopause lasted. I DO remember that I didn’t get my period for a YEAR and then, bam, it was back. And when I say my period it was BAAAAD. I have had hot flashes for years but they have tapered way off. I also have gained too much weight and am STRUGGLING to get it OFF! We go on vacation June 12 so I am working hard right now to NOT eat the damn junk. And not drink the wine!!! I lost 3 pounds last week but put 2 back on over the weekend….GRRRRRRRR! It is not easy at all. Hang in there. XOXO
I say don’t give up the wine give up the junk LOL!
I SO look forward to your posts 🙂 I LOL’d many times! My mom went through early menopause (at 35!) so I see it in my future too! She’s been taking a bio-identical (made from plants) progesterone cream for many years and it absolutely saved her life.
Yes, well I laugh too in order to keep myself from crying. You have to.
Well, here’s my story. I started menopause at age 48. I am 59 now and the hot flashes have pretty much ceased. But menopause left me with permanent vaginal eczema and vulvar vestibulitis. Which means my vagina basically has atrophied to the thinness of onion skin, which is how one female gynecologist described it over 10 years ago. I have not gone any amount of time without these two horrid curses. Which means I haven’t been able to wear any form of zip up pants, (my jeans, etc), since I was 48 years old! And I imagine I never will. I have to be very careful and not sit too long or drive too long. I have to wear very loose clothing. And they will no longer give me HRT, but they have been giving me Osphena for about a year, which has helped some. So I guess mine started at 48 and will end when I die. Sorry to have to tell you that. The grumpiness is there. I curse like a sailor and I can’t lose weight, but then with my ankle I can’t walk much either. I guess I can look at it like this: Due to menopause, I cannot wear any of the cute clothes hanging with dust in my closet. But then I can’t wear any of my cute shoes sitting with dust due to my ankle. (Probably broke both sides of my ankle due to the brittle bones menopause gives you.) So I can’t tell you it will ever end. It may for you. I hope so. Ain’t ever happening for me.
Yes, there is always a sadder story of women issues, that is for certain! I am sorry you go through so much but you seem to have an overall good attitude. Keep cussing it helps:)
Oh, forgot to say: I will never be able to have sex again due to this. That ended when I started menopause. My privates are far too fragile and will tear and bleed and then I get an infection to top it off.
Oh good lord!! Now that really sucks! I’m sorry Brenda.
Ah, doesn’t really matter. I’m so over men after my last ex that I don’t want another one to ever touch me again. Mean as a junk yard dog there at the end. And one good thing, I’m such a tight ass I’ll never sneeze and laugh and pee at the same time. So I guess I can count that one as a positive! If it was gonna happen, it already would have!
Mary Lou Gilliland
You sound like me!! When I was 42 I has a hysterectomy —– I was on the same hormone till about 2 months ago— I’m 65 now—-and my Medicare insurance would not pay for it so I changed!!! NOW everything has changed!! So I’m thinking I’ll pay the full price to keep my sanity!! And I I found that I have to stay on a schedule or everything goes to hell—- like today??. Hang in there— I laugh at my self to keep from crying!?!? LOL??
Me too me too! I get it lol.
Lord, they won’t even let me have those meds anymore. I used to have a friend, now deceased, who said she would roll a junkie in the alley to get her HRTs back! She was a professor where I went to college.
Oh My…sorry but I had to laugh!! I have been there and done that!! Mine has been 18 yrs since I started menopause and the worst thing is the not sleeping. I know I sleep some but it seems like I am awake all night, every night!! I have tried living with it and go with the flow!!! I went to the Dr and got a mild sleeping aid and it doesn’t help much..!!! We are empty nesters which makes it better so I don’t swear and be b,,,,around the kids!!! Hang in there Debbie!!!
LOL Thanks Jeanie!
Don’t hate me Debbie but I’m LMAO reading this post, not only am I in the same boat you are (turning 50 in a few days) but I did the same to my hubby’s closet. I wonder why we pick that spot to torture, lol? I refuse to take meds (herbal yes) for mine. I’m totally against western medicine so I will just suffer along with you. Great read by the way 🙂
Oh it was torture for the whole family! That is funny Dawn. Happy early Birthday to you. xo
I laughed my way thru this blog. You made it sound fun. I had a hysterectomy and don’t know if I am going to have menopause or have had it already. But when you can laugh at it you are conquering it. Just remember once you are done. You can have 365 days of no periods. Then it can be date night every night. That was my goal for having a hysterectomy. Keep the humor Debbie as the saying goes “This too shall pass.”
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Date night every night?? You mean you get in the mood for that?? OK, sounds like a plan to me:)
Hi Debbie, I had a hysterectomy when I was 40. It wasn’t long after that I was headaches that I wanted to bang my head against the wall. So I went to the doctor and he put me on premiarn and I was on it for years. My girlfriend told her doctor put her on estradiol so I went to my doctor and he put me on Estradiol and it worked. I still have hot flashes once in a while. I decided one day that I was going to go off my Estradiol and did well for a couple of weeks. Then all hell broke out and hot flashes came in like a roaring lion. Then night sweat Hit also. I was freezing my husband out and anyone that came to visit us. I was in shorts and they were in coats.? So I started back on my Estradiol and was back to normal. That was 7 months ago. Ask the doctor how long do I have to take estrogen and he said the rest of my life. I can’t take the heat like I use to this all came on when I hit 70 and now I will be hitting 74 in October. You have to take one day at a time and thank the good Lord that he gave you another day. I laugh a lot at my self and go on. Just today I thought to day was Monday.? Thank you for listening to me vent. Here it is 11:45 am go to get my day started. Have a Blessed Day.
LOL thank Jonita! Yes, I have been doing a lot of laughing at myself. It certainly has saved my sanity. My family has been great too so far. I sure am thankful the good Lord gave me life, period! So I have to roll with it and know I am not alone in this. Thank you! xo
Well, I’m one of the older ones here. I got very ill in 1999 and at 47 was thrown into peri menopause early kicking and screaming. My mom had breast cancer when she was 32 years old (she is a survivor in her 80’s now) and I did not take any HRT because of that and my own breast issues. It is doable. You can get through it. Truly. I spotted for about 3 years which ruined more underwear and jeans than I care to think about. I was an electrician and worked mostly with men and it became a joke among us all when my ears and then face would turn bright red and I’d sweat like a PIG. Thank goodness I’ve always had a highly developed sense of humor!!! My worst problem was the night sweats and itchy skin. I lived on a 43 ft boat and getting up in the middle of the night to change my pj’s was miserable in the cold winters. The itching about drove me mad. I’m going to be very upfront here. Everyone is different. It took about 13 years for my symptoms to subside COMPLETELY. Although I was in good shape I started slamming water and walking every single day. The water and exercise REALLY helped. My weight has always fluctuated and I dealt with that by having thin, just right and too fat clothes in my closets! LOL When I was cranky I cranked up the tunes and danced. It has been a journey for sure, but I have not had a period since 2002 and that is a HUGE freedom. HUGE!!! I wore poise pads for the wetting problems until 2010 when I had surgery and I don’t leak a drop. Best thing EVER!!! I didn’t murder anyone, my friends and family still love me and I am, at 63, symptom free. I gain weight a whole lot easier now and am battling a gross 25 pound weight gain that hit me this winter while taking a new drug for my arthritis. I detest being a role poly because it’s so uncomfortable and know it will take me a good 6 months to get down again, so it’s going to be a fat butt summer…. We are all different. We all react in our own way. The worst is at the beginning which can take several years for some. Hang in there. Yell if you need help or just to yack about it and we’ll be here to listen. I will say, the busier I was, the better I felt because I simply did not have time to dwell on things. I also found this was my own path to follow and no matter how well meaning, all my friends suggestions meant little. I educated myself and went through it all drug free and trying and doing what was successful for me. You’ll be fine. Nobody dies from menopause. It’s the beginning of a new time in life that has many, many advantages. Never having a heavy, crampy period again was just the first huge advantage for me. You’ll find there’s a whole lot more!!!
Big Hugs, Debbie!!! Luv ya, honey!!!
I tell you…you ladies rock my world with sharing your own journey. Everyone is different for sure. The diet and exercise are key for me. I simply got in a rut because I felt in a rut and no drive to do any of it. That is changing and I already feel a better mind set. I hope my journey does not last as longs as some here. I know my last GYN they did say I have that prolapse bladder thing, but she said it was only a 1 and they wouldn’t do a thing for it unless it was a 3. I could imagine a 3 I would be walking and peeing at the same time. YIKES! Love all you guys too! XO thank you.
Omg I am not alone! Could not believe how I felt never ever had weight problem till then but it does get better. Forget about getting to sleep need help for that still!
Working on the weight now before it gets too out of control. So far so good. I feel better already even if it’s only been a week.
So sorry you and all the others are or have had such hard times with menopause. I guess I had a fairly easy time. I think I was in my mid-fifties when I stopped having periods for a year. Then, like one of the others who commented I woke up one morning and there she was again! It was my birthday, which I tho’t was not funny! But that was the end of it–never another period. I had hot flashes, but quite mild compared to what I hear others have had. I took vitamin E for them and that seemed to help. I have always been a bit fiery and cuss a lot, so that didn’t especially get worse! I did gain weight, too, but found out later that the anti-depressant I was on was to blame for some of that. I changed it and lost some of the weight, but still retain that roll of blubber around my middle, which I really do not like. Here’s the crazy part, ladies: I am STILL having hot flashes and night sweats! The hot flashes are mild and short; I can deal with them, but the night sweats are really unpleasant. I asked my doctor about them and the hot flashes at my age. I said, “Is this normal to have these issues at my AGE??” She just smiled and said, “Well, some ladies do.” That kind of depressed me! But, I have survived breast cancer and the loss of a child, so, really, these lingering problems are nothing. I do, however, take a regimen of vitamins and minerals, definitely calcium/magnesium supplements so I think that helps. I was interested in the one person’s recommendation of magnesium oil. I had never heard of it and I think I will look into getting some.
I feel for all of you who are having a really hard time with menopause. I hope that each of you will find ways to hang in there and to not be unkind to yourselves for snapping at people, cussing, throwing dishes or screaming at the cat–or the husband! But do let them all know what is going on and what it feels like for you. And do nice things for yourselves every chance you get. Taking good care of yourself both physically and mentally/emotionally is very necessary and you and everyone else will benefit from it.
In conclusion I’ll just say think of all the good things about being a woman and be grateful…..well, that’s CRAP! Some things about being a woman just suck, that’s all there is to it! Just cuss all you want to!
Thanks Naomi! We don’t have it easy that is for sure. Men have no clue:( But thankfully my husband is supportive too. Thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear of your loss and the Breast ca. You are a very strong woman indeed. xo
I thought you were writing about me as I read your article. My biggest problem is the hot flashes. Living in Colorado I dress warm but then all of sudden I am wanting to roll in the snow naked! At night is the worst! I sleep with a small fan blowing at my face which helps but my poor husband I am freezing him away! Luckily he is supportive and lets me have my fan.
Thanks Debbie for your article. It’s nice to know that I am not going crazy Alone ;/)
I knew I was getting close to it, but after reading the list of symptoms I think Im closer than I thought !! It looks more like a death sentence than menopause. If I did not live in California I think I would be better off where it snows, cuz I would be out in it laying naked on the ground just to cool off. Good luck and keep up the great posts !
Yep…there was a time that I could eat anything and not gain an ounce…until I met the Menopause…and why do they call it “men” o pause? I did not go through all of the horrible effects of it….I was lucky…but I do wish they would come up with a great hormone that is totally side effect free!….Hang in there Debbie….lots of laughs help and with your sense of humor, you will do great!…
Oh my friend I am so sorry! Menopause truly sucks! I have been in it over 2 years now and I have those hot/cold moments and LOTS of anxiety. I went through a series of tests because I felt so off ant it turned out my hormone levels were off the charts in terms of deficiency. I have been incorporating weight watchers into my life and it helps with the weight but I hear you. The worst part is, from what I hear are that menopause can go on for years and years! We are going to need more wine…..
Oh my gosh, you’re so brave to just put this out there- and give us all a laugh!! Obviously touched a nerve with all the comments. 🙂 I, too, will stand with you and say it sucks! I actually don’t like anything about growing old – the skin issues, sex issues, hair thinning, eyesight, memory – ugh, I could go on and on. It’s awful!
That said, I do like the person I am now much better than me of 20 years ago – so there’s that. 😉
Thanks for going where others may not go – makes us remember we’re all in this together!
I have to agree with that Jami. I do like me better overall lol. Yep bonded forever us women. Only we get it.
Debbie, a million thanks to you for writing the ‘truth’ about menopause!! I enjoyed reading and sympathized with all the ladies comments. Yes, it can be hell. In fact, I’ve had every symptom that you listed at the first of the article. I’m a retired professor of nutrition, so I’ve been interested in reading all the research I can find on menopause. I’m going to be straight out honest with you and tell you the prescription medicines that I take and believe me, they have helped me more than anything over these last 15 years. I can’t take hormone replacement because I have dense, fibrocystic breasts, and I had a benign uterine polyp removed. My dear, understanding Dr. prescribed Clonazepam for anxiety, irritability, restless leg and difficulty sleeping. It’s a miracle drug!!! Inexpensive, too. Every menopausal woman I know takes it. Then, my Dr. prescribed generic Prozac. I take only one 20 mg. capsule a day. Lots of women take two capsules. There’s no shame in admitting that you need it. It not only stopped my feeling depressed, but as my nurse who also takes it, said, “It takes the edge off the shitty things of life.” With these 2 medicines, I’m calm, happy, ‘sweet’, cheerful and as my husband says, “A pleasure to be around.” Thank God for whoever invented those 2 meds.!! As for the vaginal dryness, thinness and irritable vulva: I have tried literally every product made for that. The best thing I’ve found is to wear cotton panties, washed in liquid Cheer Free detergent, which I have to order on Amazon. Wash the vulva area with only warm water and a tiny drop of Neutrogena Naturals. It comes in a pump bottle and on the bottle, it says “fresh cleansing & makeup remover”. Don’t worry about that, it contains the most natural and gentle ingredients and DOES NOT BURN. I have literally tried every “Intimate” moisturizing product on the market. They all BURNED. Then, Praise God, in Heaven, I found Aloe Cadabra on Amazon. (I know, it’s a goofy name.) It says on the bottle that it’s personal lubricant and moisturizer. That is amazing stuff! It works! Made in USA, No bad additives, no burning preservatives, and best of all it makes sex possible again! My gyn had the nerve to tell me I had the thinnest skin lining my vagina that he had seen! I wanted to kick him right in his ugly face! Right after your bath or shower, gently blot your pelvic area dry, and then gently apply zinc oxide. It covers the delicate outer skin, (don’t put it in your vagina), protects against urine burning you and helps you feel comfortable all day. Drink lots of water. It helps prevent your bladder from burning. Soft drinks, alcohol, fruit juice, citrus, tea and more than 2 cups of coffee, make my bladder burn and makes me feel like I need to pee all the time. So, I only drink 2 cups of coffee in the morning, & sometimes a cup of tea in the evenings. Get a whole house water filter, because research shows that chlorine in your water burns your skin, plus it’s bad for your bladder. I also ordered a hand held shower attachment called Sprite, from Amazon. If you spend much time sitting at the computer, you will love a comfortable cushion with a hole in it. Takes the pressure off the vulva. That’s all I can think of, except to say, “Ladies, be pro-active and search until you find things that work for you.” This is a “season” of our lives, and I’m not going to let menopause rob me of my best years!! God bless, Bev
Thanks for the helpful info. My Doc did prescribe Effexor for me. I am on a very low dose 75mg. at night. It has helped a lot with the anxiousness I was feeling. It all seemed to hit when our oldest was going off to College. As for the vaj, thankfully, I am not experiencing those problems YET. If and when I do I will definitely try your suggestions. Been upping the water too, and only do two cups of coffee a day now as well in the morning. You really had some great info though Bev. I appreciate it so much! XO
I’m near your age, and also heading into this blessed season of life. Oh joy! And to make the emotional roller coaster even more thrilling, my family has moved five times in the last ten years, with the most recent move happening last June. Away from family, away from friends, in a fixer upper house I do not like and in a neighborhood and town I like even less. My poor husband never saw this disaster coming, and he’s now actively trying to get us relocated closer to home. By the way, the night sweats started getting bad last fall. A few months back, I started reading and following the Trim Healthy Mama plan, which cuts sugar and is careful with carbs. My night sweats have greatly decreased, and I’ve even dropped a pant size. It’s more of a lifestyle change than a diet. Honestly, most nights I wish I could drown my sorrows in a bottle of red wine paired with a big ole chocolate cake…but I know if I did, I wouldn’t sleep at all that night! LOL! Good luck!
HAHAHAHA!!~ yes the wine and chocolate cake are not the answer. I hope things work out for you on your relocation. Thankfully, I have a lot of great friends here and we are all about the same age. My bunco group is the best for therapy lol.
So…. let me say a couple of things..first.. we are in a new club we knew we would join, but, really didn’t know what we were getting into. it is similar but a little different for each of us. I’m 54, and know your symptoms intimately ! Here’s my advice… Bio Identical Hormones !!!! If you’re not familar, look at anything Suzanne Somers has written in the last few years. This is not a fix all but a healthy way to not only survive, but actually be healthy. Best of luck “sister”.
Oh, dear Debbie, don’t hold back! Tell us exactly how you feel, because we have either been there, are there or will be someday! It’s one of those gifts of being a woman that just keeps on giving; which makes it easier to understand why women are the stronger sex. I had many of the same symptoms that you and many of the other women have experienced, but night-sweats were the worst for me. I would awaken in the middle of the night absolutely drenched. I kept t-shirts (cotton tees were the only things that were comfortable) and bath towels to cover the wet bed close at hand, so I could attempt a bit more sleep…..this happened every night for a couple of years. I wondered if the day would ever come when this horribleness would ever go away and finally it did. At least it did for about ten years, only to return this past year because of chemo. Talk about adding insult to injury! My main symptoms this go-around were hot flashes….my face would turn bright red and actually be hot to the touch and ragged emotions. My poor hubby walked around on eggshells! Fortunately, those side-effects have pretty much gone away now.
I wish there was some magic remedy I could share with you, but when you cannot take HRT (I couldn’t either), then there really isn’t much you can do but be a warrior and tough it out. Oh, and you should probably tell your hubby to get real good at the “eggshell walk,” because it could save his life….just kidding! No, not really!
Oh he has mastered it Carol! Thankfully, Mike is a very mild mannered calm guy. I don’t think I phase him much. Glad you are doing better Carol. Thanks for your kind visit. xo
I don’t know how you feel about using essential oils, but they are the bomb! I had a really difficult time with menopause, too, but that was before the oils became so popular. My bestie is currently going thru it and she’s using oils and can tell a big difference. Research the ones that are good for your symptoms and purchase them right up and start using them immediately. I feel like these oils are exactly what God wants us to use, since He made the plants they came from. I’m reminded of the “balm of Gilead” in the Bible. HOPE this helps you!
I am going to look into what oils would be essential. I have a bunch that my Mom bought me. Thank you.
First…where have you been all of my life?!! I am off this morning to get the grey out of my hair for about the 3,000th time and trying to fight the aging thing as gracefully as possible. I too started the hormone in, hormone out journey early and now post menopause is not such a bad thing. What I wished I had known about in my peri-menopause raging self that started at age 40 was bio-identical hormone therapy. I’ve been on it for a few years now, it’s compounded for me as several creams applied daily and has ROCKED MY WORLD!
Maybe I should do a post, after I take my Geritol and eat my All Bran 😉
HAHAHAHA!!~ Yes, I have heard a lot of positive things about bio-identical. You should write about it Janet. Thanks for stopping by today.
OMG……this is epic! You’re right, menopause isn’t for sissies! And isn’t it funny… Or not….that our moms didn’t talk about it and warn us. What’s worse is the tv commercials about vaginal dryness. Geez, is nothing sacred?!?! And your hubbies clothes……? Yikes! Great blog!
Thanks Gail! He still hasn’t noticed:)
I love you so much more than ever!!!!!!! I have always enjoyed reading and following along your blogs. Today, I freaking love ya! Everything you have said is so true with me right now. I have forwarded this to some friends, we all going through this. I feel so much closer to you now. Love ya!!!
Anytime Beth HA!!~~~ Love ya too.
Hilarious!!! I especially can relate to the clothes you threw out….I’ve been doing the same ever since we got married – have to be real sneaky or he notices. LOL. I’d sure love to see an end to the night sweats. I’ve tried a couple of things, but none of them have worked so far. When I just can’t seem to cool off, I just get out of my pj’s and then I sleep a lot better. I’ve spent a lot of money on bedding and pj’s too – if it’s helped any it’s been minimal enough that I can’t tell. One night after I’d stripped down, I got out of bed to use the toilet and realized we didn’t have running water. I woke up hubby to tell him…the next day he told me I could wake him up naked anytime. LOL
LMAO!!~ Before you even got there, I thought to myself that is trouble, just trouble HA
I understand I have been on Premiran since I had a Hysterectomy since 1966, I was only 40 years old. My doctor put me on Premiran , while taken it I was symptom free, than many, many years later I developed a very large blood clot from my spine to my toes, I almost died. I was taken off the Premiarn and now I am getting the hot flashes very bad and no patience and a potty mouth also. I was told I can’t taken anything because I have genes that make blood clots. I was so very happy while taking the Premiarn no symptoms at all. Now I’ll have this the rest of my life plus take Couadin.
UGH! It all sucks Pauline. As we speak I am literally having a hot flash. It just comes on and I want to stick my head in freezer. Hang in there, it’s suppose to get better:)
Oh my nerves!! Why didn’t anyone warn me about this phase of womanhood. No wonder women kept it in the hush hush. I believe we would all be locked away lol!
So 45 and certain perimenopause began 3-4 year ago. Not fun PMS on steroids. Running is my wine my chocolate my extra cup of coffee. Cause Madam Menopause just won’t allow me to enjoy these without a personality change. LOL
I would say anxiety surprised me the most. Can’t stand for it. Any suggestions
First thank you so much for this blog .What’s so funny is that I typed in menopause sucks and these stories that I can relate to came up. I have cried, cant relax,not sleeping and haven’t had the desire for sex. I’m turning 50in 4months and up until now I was so excited until my clothes stop fitting, Im changing clothes twice a day because I’m not comfortable. I’m walking every morning and drinking water . I was a sweet eater but I have stop craving sweets or moscato wine. I have sciatic nerve and pain from stiffness in my back and legs. My mind is constantly going its crazy. It seems like everything that I use to cope with and handle is non existent. I’m on estroven and b12 of course the night sweats have stopped but the emotions are through the roof.